Ok...so I am staring out the window..frozen..daydreaming.. but not really because I don't consider thinking about why my card was "not able to read" at Target and Ms. D (we won't mention any names) calling me from Sam's school telling me things got out of hand with the 5 year old bus riders yesterday daydreaming!
I can slowly feel my limbs freezing into position..telling me they do not want to move anymore. I am trying not to physically focus my eyes on anything because when I do they tend to zone out.
I think this morning I feel like I am drowning. Slowly.
I am not going to lie and tell you that I woke up this morning..sat on the edge of my bed..gave my sore muscles a big ole stretch ..threw on my robe (never)..walked slowly into the kitchen ..listened as the birds greeted me on the window sill all while I poured myself a cup of coffee..freshly brewed as I slept like a baby under my down comforter and silk pajamas..oh no no no!
Cue..screaming baby
My morning went a little something like this..
dreaming about baby screaming..realized after who knows how long that it WAS a baby screaming..Tucker screaming from down the hall (he was definitley born with a great set of lungs). Instead of sitting on the edge of my bed stretching , pondering the days events, I was running ..in the dark..towards the babies room! Walked in praying that Tucker had not woken the other sleeping baby in the crib next to him..the best was turning up the light so very dimly to see him smiling at me as if to say "gotcha"..how sweet! Ok fun is over back to business. Paci..check. blanki..check..no bumpers wrapped around body parts..check. He was sucking away as I swiftly ran on my tip toes back to my bed hoping and praying that I would not hear a whimper..you know the one that leads to a full on scream the next second. And of course I was holding my breath as I got into bed and slowly pulled the covers back over myself..as if he could hear me from across the house. I thought..please God...please give me a few more minutes!
After a few minutes..6 a.m. Max rolls in..jumps in bed..fine. Then Sam..jumps in bed..fine. I know I have about 25 minutes of uninterrupted sleep before the fighting ensues just because they can.. and then I throw my hands up..surrender the bed .. stand up take a deep breath..walk to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee..
The whole day thus far has seemed felt somewhat like I am sinking.. then remembering I have to come up for air. Hoping I can come up for air! Remembering to breathe..We shall see..sighhhhhhhh
oh, kelli! i used to beg my husband to take my early riser downstairs for just a few more minutes. grace to you to get through the day & then sleep, sleep, sleep. give so much grace & kindness to yourself.
Posted by: twitter.com/pamelastrohl | September 18, 2009 at 11:46 AM